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(According to Charles) On The State Of The Planet In General Originally published July 2018; Revised January 2020 (thank God!) Hello one and all, and welcome to the WORLD PAGE! This pleasant, entertaining and informative little discourse is intended to pleasantly entertain and inform you, while simultaneously accomplishing the following objectives: 1. Nailing several disgusting, odious, and reprehensible hyenas with one stone; 2. Turning the tables on some rather nastily entrenched (in high places) little S.O.B. maggots; 3. Scaring you into thinking hard about the world as we know it (or don't know it), and what is happening in and to that world today; 4. Motivating you to get up off your caboose and do something about that aforementioned scary world, ostensibly (you may cynically be saying to yourself) so that people like Charles can sit back, relax and play their guitars while critically rating your effectiveness as they speculate on the true nature of your intentions, making profound learned judgments regarding your moral turpitude and also savagely impugning your integrity upon detecting any sign of corruption or lack of rectitude (which is far better, however, than being labeled a lazy no-good indifferent indelicate apathetic cad [who sits on his lazy caboose criticizing people and does nothing to help] by Charles, isn't it? [at this juncture you may well find yourself saying, "why doesn't Charles take that guitar and stick it up his ASS, he makes me sick to my stomach!", etc. This is understandable {in future updates to this webpage we'll be examining your over-sensitivity to constructive criticism with all of it's underlying roots and causes, blah blah etc.} but, again, it's all being done for your own good]. And hey, it's not like you're paying money for all this "manna from heaven," are you? No, you're not. It's as free as the wind-driven snow!). Don't worry too much; like they say in politics, "you're damned if you do and damned if you don't." That's life in the big city, people; either way you lose. Life's a Bitch Then You Die, you know? And now... Charles brings you The World! But before we commence, a little "caveat lector" note is in order here: Charles is reputed to be an extremely dogmatic person, can be quite rude when contradicted, and is also exceedingly full of himself, ok? Also, as far as being presumptuous ... he is henceforth going to try to stop referring to himself in the third person, as if he were Alexander the Great or something, and also will attempt to dispense with all the unnecessary pompous-ass lingo. He (hereinafter "I" [there, I said it!]) feels he has something useful to impart and absolutely refuses to jeopardize the delivery of that important message by being obnoxiously and unbelievably jerk-like. 
OK, let's begin! First of all, let us address the question that initially comes to your mind, which no doubt runs something
like this: what qualifies Charles, who so happily and irresponsibly spent his youth surfing the westernmost fringes of
Southern, Central, and Northern California (that is, when he wasn't unhappily and responsibly working like a dog just to survive),
and was so myopically satisfied with this local arrangement that he never actually even wanted to see the rest of
the world (the single exception being, of course, the surfing mecca known as the North Shore of Oahu,
Hawaii [which he never actually managed to do, largely due to the evil machinations of legions of enemies]) to write
about the state of the world at large? Is this not the insufferable height of presumption?
Well, yes... and no! Yes, because Charles has admittedly (with the exception of a few quick trips to Nevada and Mexico) never actually been outside the borders of California, and as such has never actually seen much of the world at large. 
And no! Because Charles has access to certain tools (such as a library card, among other things) that when properly utilized,
enable him to actually learn more about the actual state of a specific country or city than someone who has actually
traveled the world and spent their time actually viewing things such as airports, hotels, restaurants, shops, parks, museums, ruins, red light
districts, etc. (assuming, of course, that these tools are fairly reliable in their accuracy). Ok, Charles doesn't bodily visit
war zones where people get killed (or even worse, maimed to an extent where life is arguably no longer worth living), but he can
get a fairly high-resolution mental picture of such misery, and may actually gain a better understanding as to the causes of said
misery, all thanks going to those aforementioned helpful tools. And by the way, thanks also to guys like Andrew
Carnegie who built all those libraries that he did, ostensibly to stuff their bookshelves with free literary offerings
(propoganda) espousing his/their point(s) of view, a very subliminal form of mind control, and which unfortunately seems to work very well
given our propensity to want to believe what the media feeds us (hey, if Charles takes the time to read a big thick book [or at
least the interesting parts], then who can blame him for wanting to believe it's true? Don't tell me I wasted my fricking time!
And worse, or maybe better, to sit there and watch the news on my cell phone, believing everything I hear and see because, after
all, aren't all these people who control the media more worldly than I am, and doesn't that make them somehow better than me...
more honest, having seen the world? And putting all sarcasm aside, what if all these "anchor" people actually weren't lying to or
trying to mislead you, but inadvertently got the story from the wrong perspective, as things will look different from different
perspectives sometimes, which leads us to the next question, which is... just exactly what is a fact? A thing done,
such as a "feat," or a "CRIME," is a fact, right? Something that has actual existence? As like, "we went to the moon, that's
a fact!"? Something that has the quality of being actual, having actuality? Or maybe you could just call
it "a piece of information presented as having objective reality"? Sheeesshh... People, the fact is... oh crap, there
I go pontificating again... scratch that, let me rephrase that. Ok, to quote Abraham Lincoln:
and you can fool all of the people some of the time, but you can't fool all of the people all of the time!" 
or something like that (it may not have been Honest Abe -- but I am digressing again... "wait a minute," you are all probably
asking at this point, "didn't he forget to close that last parentheses back there, and now he's starting another digression?"
The answer is a most resounding "NO!" I am not done with my initial digression here, I just wanted to add that I most
emphatically believe there is a reasonable reason for the bigwigs not to tell us everything that's really going on. I mean, they
can't just come out and say something like, "hey bub, the world is coming to an end; why don't you just take some yoga classes, bend way
over, put your head between your thighs and kiss your ass goodbye," can they now? Well, can they? It would cause a mass panic!
Everybody except Charles, who is known for keeping a cool head in tight situations, would just go bananas and there would be mass
turmoil, don't you see? They can't just tell a guy like you the truth, comprendo? Therefore, you should trust people like Charles,
who shall lead you out of the darkness... are you starting to get the picture here, folks? Or are you at this
point wondering, "Why am I, whom I formerly considered to be an intelligent, sentient being, reading the rambling ravings of a crazy guy
like Charles?"
Let me give you a little break from thinking and answer that last question for you: to put this succinctly, it's because life is crazy!
Who's sure of anything anymore? I saw on the news the other day some guy shut down the 110 Southbound Freeway for two hours by climbing
up onto the overhanging freeway sign and doing something, I forget what, to promote his rap music or concert or something, along
with some other slightly more noble cause, I forget what again; people, noble cause or not, do you know what I would
have done if that guy had made me sit there for 2 hours baking in the hellish photon bombardment I would have got out of
my car, ran down to that freeway sign he was sitting on, climbed up the gawdforsaken thing, fixed whatever he did to
stop the traffic, waited for traffic to start flowing again, and then pushed him right off into that gawdd... oops, sorry
folks, got a little carried away there, which leads me to my next point. Why all the senseless gratuitous massacre and mayhem in some
of the more "acclaimed" films of the past few decades, a not so subliminal [depending on your level of susceptibility] incentive to people
like Charles who are normally of exceptionally pleasant demeanor, folks, to abandon all semblance of rationality and indulge in some
knee-jerk reactive, overtly insane gratuitous act of violence like that? And why should I let these sick bastards subliminally get me to
act like that? Ok, ok, I'm going to close the second parentheses and shut the fuk now, ** Closing parenthesis #2,
while still discoursing on first digression **). Thank you! I needed to regather my thoughts! Ok, let us proceed on... no,
actually, let's just end this paragraph with the appropriate punctuators and a word of warning to the wise: It's up to you
to decide whether you wish to believe the Media Gods, Charles, some pissed-off president, your baptist preacher or your own eyes and
ears! Choose one or the other, or else just do what Charles does: listen to 'em all, then try to decide who's lying the least!
It's the only way, guys; besides, people like Charles believe what they want to believe anyway, and that's the bottom line.).
Right... glad we settled that one! I shall now outline some of the wordly topics we will be expounding upon, with a few wise
witticisms interjected here and there, just a few token advisatory nuggets handed out freely to you by Charles in his magnanimosity,
that are applicable ALL OVER THE WORLD! Hmmm... lem'me see here. Oh yeah, first things first. Since Charles...
since I am in my mortal demise and very near the end, I now find myself thinking more and more frequently about
the timely subject of...
Most people don't like to think about their mortal demise. Charles, however, being a loser on the run, suffering constant chronic pain, and frequently given to good old suicidal ideation, that great extra-strength worry reliever (just don't actually do it, anybody), thinks about it all the time!! And it's a good thing too, because as it stands now, for some inexplicable reason which Charles... which I shall explain later, our country refuses to AND WITH SOME SEMBLANCE OF DIGNITY!! Ok, ok... a few years ago, California attempted to begin to follow the not-so-insane examples of some of the more merciful countries, and changed some rather... uh, sadistic? standing laws that required a dying-in-unbearable-pain person to buy a shotgun, insert the bastard right into their mouth there, and somehow work up the courage to pull that gawdforsaken trigger, thereby ending their misery instantly and (hopefully) painlessly (if you die instantly, you have less time to feel the pain, no? [Charles doesn't like pain!]) instead of suffering said pain, that sometimes excrutiatingly painful said pain, all the way to the very end, like God intended, right? (Are you getting confused here? I know I sure as hell am!) 
But... did God really intend for us to suffer like poor hapless pitiful animals, who often must first exhaust themselves running away from some mean-ass S.O.B.
predator whose jaws are snapping hard on their heels, often also exhausting said S.O.B. prick so that he has to rest before he can deliver the coup de grace,
thereby subjecting them to a lengthy and terrifying waiting period before the predatory sonofabitch dispatches them (Charles has even seen
rude and hungry animals actually begin eating their nonplussed victims before delivering that merciful coup de grace!)? Well, did
He? Would God really be so sadistically cruel to the creatures he created in his own image? Or is some pontificating S.O.B. who claims to
have divinely supreme authority over everybody requiring us to suffer all the way to the very end even if we don't want to, the same way
he'll try to compel women who are facing an unwanted, unplanned childbirth (maybe because they are likely to die in delivery, or maybe because they can't face being
cut open [i.e., ceasarian section] to deliver said unwanted unplanned-for child, or possibly they got raped and just don't need it, or else maybe even
perhaps because they can't afford to properly feed, clothe, shelter, nurture, educate, and get expensive orthodontic braces for that
unwanted child) to go and get an illegal, dangerous, expensive back-alley abortion from some highly questionable crack-abortionist of dubious
capability? And just exactly who is this guy to tell someone else what they can do with their own unborn fetus, especially when he
will never have to face their quite understandable trepidation regarding said unwanted unplanned childbirth, or go through that rather painful looking
process himself, and, most importantly of all, will NEVER BE REQUIRED TO PAY A STINKING DIME FOR THE DELIVERY, CARE AND UPBRINGING OF THAT UNWANTED
CHILD WHOM HE HAS HEROICALLY RESCUED FROM A FATE WORSE THAN (can an unborn fetus even understand what DEATH is? I don't know. How
much pain does the entire abortive process involve, and for how long? Is it worse than the pain of being unwanted, and/or possibly being
mistreated by a frustrated unappreciative parent? We're getting into dangerous waters here, folks... people like Charles can, under the
influence of an unseen divine entity like God [my uncle] do strange heroic things, such as heroically blowing away a brave but incarnately evil
abortion doctor [who actually knew what kind of zealous mentalities he was dealing with and still proceeded to go right ahead and end
that fetus's life, depriving it of enjoying the beauty of it all {Charles will be expounding at length upon that beauty in his upcoming "poetry
page," featuring versical excerpts from a few choice authors whom Charles really likes. Phillistines, of course, are not
invited.}], and then go marching proudly off to jail, triumphantly proclaiming to the reporters: "he's been stopped!") DEATH? AND
FURTHERMORE, HAS ANYONE THOUGHT TO CONSIDER THE small, tiny little matter of the artificially-enhanced population explosion that is happening
all over the globe [statistical facts and figures will be presented in due time] and what easily predictable consequences are sure to follow
in the footsteps of said unchecked population growth, little concerns such as the following:
1. Infringement on territories of other life forms, some big, beauteous and ranking extremely high on man's endangered species
list, others not so fortunate, and whose importance to the ecological balance of their ecosystem, which might in turn affect surrounding systems,
doesn't really matter if we follow Charles' sagely advice: bring big bulldozers in there, plow it all up and make parking lots! This
would generate quick revenue which could be applied to the military budget.
2. Increased demand for food, energy, fresh water, and Netflix. This one really scares me; not so much the first three, but if everybody's watching Netflix, whose gonna' have time to read chucktrevino.com (like they should) and in fact, whose gonna' wanna' read anything anymore for that matter, since those movies are so engrossing? (Give him a little break there, guys! Quit making such good movies!) Has anyone ever stopped to consider that question? How we gonna' feed them, energize them, hydrate and bathe them all? Just how sustainable is this exponential population growth? How many more PPM's (parts per million) of noxious, obnoxious or whatever chemicals or compounds or whatever the frick they're talking about can we continue to emit, or amass, or absorb or whatever the gosh-danged heck we're doing before the ice caps melt and the oceans rise and the gulf stream stops streaming and the CO2 and the ozone and then the inevitable global climate change triggering other catastropic events, oh man! I get dizzy just reading about it... think how I'm gonna' feel when it happens! 2(a). And that's just the stuff we're doing wrong, the stuff we could fix if we weren't so dumb and cantankerous, always fighting amongst ourselves, but now I want you to think about some of the things we have absolutely no control over, things like hurricanes and tornadoes and earthquakes and tsunamis and airborne viruses (eek!) and big meteors or asteroids, you know that asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter, whatever they call it, it's not too far from us at all, and if you think in astronomical terms, like, could one of those mofo's come unbelted and possibly hit us? 2(b). And what's all this nonsense about the possibility of life coming at us in comets and other star-hopping vehicles, or life on all those moons of Saturn or Jupiter or whoever, ok not big humanoid space invader people but what about some sort of bacterial or viral life forms that could survive space travel and get over hereabouts somehow, or what about the viruses that are already here, like the one that wiped out one-fourth of the European population, was that a virus, or what did that, dude, didn't they get that from the fleas that the rats carried or something? So should we also start worrying about fleas too, I don't know man, all I know is that's the kind of bullsheet you have to deal with when your name is Chucky. Great life, huh? Ok, moving right along here... 
3. The unchecked spread of inane absurdity. Does anyone stilll remember W.C. Fields, how he said hilarious things like
"there's a new sucker being born every minute" (or something like that), and how hard we used to laugh whenever he said that? Well, as it
turns out W.C. wasn't kidding, but he had the birth rate figured out incorrectly; let Charles set you statistically straight on this:
every minute some 18 zillion new kids are born somewhere in the world, and I hate to say this, but unless we implement some counter-measures to
the global plague of inanity that threatens the entire spectrum of humanity, these kids are going to be spoon-fed the same crap ideology as
our young people are, i.e.: it's all about me, me, me, mine, mine, mine, gimme' more, more, more, faster, easier... stupider?
That's right, I said stupider, amigo! Also: inaner, absurder, ridiculouser, and we must now ask ourselves this little question: just
how badly does the rest of the world need to import the present American ideal of happiness?
3(a). I'm talking about merde like South Park, MTV, Mickey Mouse... (oops, I meant to say Mickey Rat [NOTE:
Dreamworks bought Disney, whose cartoon-loving CEO {his enigmatic name I forget} recently announced his intention to run for President of the United States,
giving not-so-well-funded potential candidates like Charles severe nightmares; a guy who works for Stephen Spielberg and David Geffen running the most powerful
country in the world? Oh hell, what am I worried about? They probably do already anyway]), and Magnum Pump? You've all heard
of Magnum Pump right, it'll keep you going all night there, boy, hey wait a second... weren't we supposed to be talking about stopping exponential
population growth? Looks like we're back to market demographics again: the more over-consuming suckers being born every minute, the more potential profits
to be made, eh guys? And do you know who actually owns Magnum Pump? Why, no less a personage than David Letterman, that insufferable
insomniac idiot with his zillion and one narcoleptic/insomni-maniac slug-zombie hard-core fans and followers (I am going to get in big trouble for this --
again) who used to actually go to sleep to the lulling rhapsody of that raving lunatic interviewing/insulting his "captive" guests (they had to
appear on his classy show or else get the old "you'll never work in this town again" notice -- poor celebrities!). David Letterman! The scuzbag who
regularly gives that great shining city in the sky New York an even worse name than it already has (I am going to get bombarded for that one), and whose rancid low-class
jackass style inspired a whole new generation of torch-bearing imbecilic late-night (shit-)talk-show hosts who want to grow up to be just like him, and not to get off
the subject of euthanasia, Roe v. Wade, unsustainable population explosions or inanity in general, but why is someone who looks like Diamond Dave even
worried about how long he can keep it up? How did he even attract another person? I don't want to be superficially mean or anything petty like
that (Note: Charles learned the finer points of superficial petty meanness by watching television [especially late night talk-shows], hollywood movies, and listening
to the radio), but David Letterman looks like The Classic Schmuck! No, really... go look up the word "schmuck" in
one of those dictionaries that puts little pictures there to illustrate their definitions, and you will see a little picture of David Letterman! Could that
be the reason he feels he has to act that way, you know, the way he used to do on his talk show? Could that easily provoked, thinly-disguised hostility have
been caused by his own subconscious self-loathing (if it was, he should read the soon-to-be-released new book by Charles, "How I Dealt With (And Clobbered!)
My Own Sub-Conscious Self-Loathing" [send check or money order in the amount of $8,972.67 for personally autographed copy, made out to chucktrevino.com publications
{don't forget to calculate and add exact shipping and handling fees or your order will be delayed indefinitely and your money held for the same duration}] and learn
to just deal with it!)? But, to get back on track here, how do some of those guys do it? Let me answer that one quickly for you, thus
saving you undue mental strain: it's all about the...
That's right, people... Charles has unfortunately nailed it right on the head again. Bucks. Big bucks. We've all heard
that money talks, bullshit walks, love won't pay the rent, and all those other fine truisms that life sometimes cruelly imparts to us
(o.k., o.k., I know, nobody likes being impoverished [Charles knows he sure as hell don't!]), but jeepers creepers girls,
how far do you want to take it? You are living in an age where you are no longer forbidden to get a good job or pursue a rewarding
career that allows you to become financially independent of super jeeper-creepers like David Letterman! You no longer have to
marry some disgusting obnoxious creep to save you from sinking, or to use as a launching pad! You can save or launch yourselves now,
and marry whomever you please!
This is perhaps the most important "letter missive" that nutty professor Charles can impart to you... don't take wooden nickels! Actually, perhaps you shouldn't take paper dollars, either (more on paper money later), or at least wash your hands after you do, since nothing passes through more hands than paper money! Please note, however: if everybody were to follow Charles's sagely advice and allow the government to surgically insert some of those new cute little implants into their bodies (which merchants can quickly scan to determine a person's monetary worth [never to be confused with a person's actual worth]), we wouldn't even need paper money anymore, would we! 
And interestingly, there are some (perhaps behind-the-times [given these mind-numbing days of crypto-currencies, and all those countries with their
fluctuating economies, which are largely due to incomprehensibly complicated trade bickering, which is largely caused by confusion over fluctuating currency
exchange rates, which are largely caused by the bigwig economic "geniuses" taking said countries off of the Gold Standard]) conspiracy theorists
who even say that countries should abolish "paper" money entirely and go back on the Gold Standard! They say that allowing the financial geniuses
to take them off a monetary system based on precious metals, or something else that's valuable and in short supply, actually makes it super-easy for
said financial geniuses to finance "made-for-profit" wars, the profits of such wars in turn actually making it easier for them and their "profiteers-of-human-misery"
cohorts to finance more, bigger, and better wars, all over the planet, until they've become so rich and powerful that no one will dare attempt to stop them
in their noble quest to, dare I say it? RULE THE WORLD, ha ha ha! AH, HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! Doesn't that sound good? Then they
could pay those new corporate-mercenary organizations with names like Blackwater, or Blackhawk, or Nighthawk, or Nightcrawler or whatever, more and more money!
Thus enabling them to give their splendidly high-spirited special ops mercenaries regular merit increases (huge raises in salary) which said special ops mercenaries
no doubt deserve for so bravely making the world a safer place for all of us to live in since, as Mercenary Inc. and their even more pugnacious right-wing
proponents claim, the entire world is now at war and needs more mercenaries to reverse this very evil process... hmmm. I was just thinking... maybe if
some of these happy, trigger-happy, drone missile-happy, well-paid mercenaries would stop murdering innocent men, women and children all over the world,
those people wouldn't be so inclined to become choleric and fight back using nail bombs and things like that to "nail" us so inconsiderately... Charles doesn't
like nail bombs, mail bombs, drone bombs, or any kind of bombs really...
Hmmmm... maybe Charles should start thinking more about who not to piss off in this increasingly dangerous world, where unseen,
unaccountable big-time jokers can print up as much money as they want and use it to enrich and enzeal zealous, patriotic, sadistically heroic drone-trigger-happy
high-ranking soldiers of misfortune who'll send a drone right up to your window and present you and your teen-age friends with a shiny new high-tech "smart" bomb
that will home in on you and follow you around for the rest of your life (which won't be very long if you keep messing around), until it senses the time is right
to blow you off the face of this godforsaken planet and straight to hell, where you apparently belong (according to some of these noble cherubic leaders of ours)
and where hopefully you'll stay, rotting and burning for your sins (which, believe it or not, might even include protesting the drone missile murder of your father,
who had the distinction of being the first American to be murdered by his own government by drone missile attack, and whom our very credible leaders
informed us was a very dangerous terrorist [in spite of his valiant decades-long attempts to discourage certain outraged people from vengefully and counter-productively
killing innocent Americans]. Um, unfortunately, Charles is not fabricating this unbelievable tale, it actually happened people, but don't worry too much about
it because, after all, the guy and his 16-year old son, who was surely going to grow up to become one of those Islamo-fascist terrorists, or whatever it is
the media calls them, that guys like Mitt Romney say should be jailed, tortured and all that other good stuff, were actually very evil, very dangerous threats to us
all, and so the bigwigs actually did us a favor, you see, pissing off all those foreigners who will vengefully kill innocent Americans)... getting a bit
confused here? Don't worry, you're supposed to!
Oh well, no matter. As the reductionists say, we never really die anyway, we just change state! It's kind of comforting really, to know that your atoms will still be here after you've been blown away and are long gone... all those tiny little guys just mixing, re-forming, contributing, giving something back... unless maybe you've been cremated and your ashes accidentally get flushed down the toilet or something ignominious like that. It's all very weird, but strangely comforting (hey, maybe Charles is not such a jerk after all! He's going to give his atoms back!). 
Whoops! It's time for dinner... sorry folks, Charles is getting "antsy" to go "pig out," since he has to keep his strength up to do even more pontificating
tomorrow. That's right kids, Charles is not through with this discourse yet! In fact, he has not yet begun to pontificate! Remember this
wise platitude: "He who fights and runs away, lives to pontificate another day!" Sounds good to me. In future updates to this webpage, we shall be
presenting more timely and profound Charlesian opinions on a questionably wide variety of subjects, backed by facts and figures supplied by somewhat more reputable
and reliable sources (false information is not your friend!), all given out freely and with the best of intentions. Well then, parting is such
sweet sorrow, but the siren call of food... hey, they're playing my tune! So long for now you little droogies, until we meet again...
Click Here To Go Back To Index All text, photos, and learned opinions Copyright 2018 by Charles Adrian Trevino. Please note: If any rational person should find him or herself becoming irrational after perusing this web page, please don't contact Charles at _____________.com to comment. Thank you very much! This is chucktrevino.com. |